You know that question people ask- Who are you? Describe yourself in a few words...what drives you? It came in many different forms- but you get the point. Well, I don’t remember being asked that question much in my life outside of interviews back when I was still in corporate America- but if I had a dollar for every time I was asked “What are you?’ Wow….yeah it’s safe to say I’d have a lot more in crypto. Now more often than not I had compassion and understanding for those who asked me that, finding myself making excuses for their ignorance or bad judgement. I had normalized the behavior. But just think about that question...What are you? I mean...how does a 7 year old answer that- bear in mind they shouldn’t have to but as long as we’re on the subject how does anyone answer that? Ummmmmm….I’m a human being- I actually said that once- dripping with sarcasm but completely lost on the person asking. No silly, “Where are you from?”.. Ahhhh America I said. To their disdain I obliged in their game and answered Chicago..eventually giving in to their oblivious whims and said I’m Mulatto. Wow- now I’m really aging myself.

Who are you?

So-full disclosure-this terrifies me. Sharing pieces of myself- the sticky ones, the very covert and vulnerable ones is not an easy thing for me to do on such a public platform. But a very wise woman said to me recently that not sharing your story is actually selfish. So I’m choosing to feel the fear and do it anyway. My intention is to shine a light on my personal experience as a bi-racial woman and some of the struggles that have come with that. And I would venture to say- presumptuous as it may be- I am not alone. My story is not unique. I also believe that it’s through sharing the most vulnerable parts of ourselves that we truly find connection with one another- which is also my intention.

To be clear, I wholeheartedly recognize my privilege as a light skin woman. How could I not? No matter what type of household you grew up in- you would have to be living under a rock to not see the huge disparity in this country and abroad by how people are treated based on the color of their skin. But we can only heal what we acknowledge and the time has come for me to face what I’ve been pushing down for so long. I have been a coward and often avoided talking about identity because of the fear that shows up around being misunderstood or worse- -judged. Echoes of this would often play in my head- the “what is she complaining about, she’s had it easy mentality.” Often not spoke about, but I believe commonly understood is the idea that bi-racial people, especially bi-racial women don’t really have a leg to stand on in terms of their struggle because we’ve “had it easy”- when in reality we just get a front row seat to the b.s., but never encouraged to speak our truth. But what if I don’t want to suppress it? What if I don’t want to compare, but rather connect, unite, to be a bridge so that we can all have more compassion- more understanding..more empathy for each other. I can see you, hear you, hold space for you and also for me at the same time.

As is true in life- - I am and this is a work in progress…